1-$tring Woody
Vinyl Mind Lyrics
1. Prophet
When mere opinions attract vast minions
They’re misconstrued as fact
Although the quest is great, my common sense dictates
No one on Earth knows jack
He can get so fixated, he can get so frustrated
When he feels his words are wasted on you
He’s pushing his agenda
I mark Return to Sender
Just another mental fender bender with you
He’s knocking at my brain so very early in the morning
And he’s talkin’ bout religion, UFOs, and global warming
And he tells me that he smells me
so he gives my mind it’s final warning
So I go right back to my snoring
I used to know this fellow when he was so bright and chummy
Now he’s hoisting up his banner and he’s calling me a dummy
He thinks his mind is open but it’s wrapped up like a mummy
So I go “no thank you”
2. Sunday’s Gonna Happen
Opened my eyes on the last day of the world
Put on some coffee; made some breakfast for my girls
I fed my turtle then we knocked around downtown
We bought some ice cream; I got a beer to wash mine down
Promises made, hopes are sky high, promises broken
Promises made, all hopes are dashed, no words are spoken
Promises made…
Saturday morning: there’ll be a good chance for an afternoon
Saturday afternoon: there’ll be potential for an evening, too
Promises made, hopes are sky high, promises broken
Saturday midnight: Sunday’s gonna happen
Day came and went; nothin’ in the sky but rain
Another theory spent
While the prophet’s gearing up again
3. Soul Dentist
I need a Soul Dentist I’ve got truth decay
I might even need some moral surgery
Oh yes a Soul Dentist, baby, that’s what I need
Soul Dentist help me to be a better human being
Drill for my emotions, put a cap on my ego
Rip out my ignorance teeth
I need more than a check-up ‘cause everything’s messed up
My soul is in a cavity that’s 90 feet deep
Soul Dentist, let me sit right down in your chair
Fill my mind up with your sweet air
Teach me how to mental floss right
And adjust my bite
Soul Dentist help me to be a better human
Don’t leave me waitin’ around your waiting room and
Soul Dentist help me to be a better human being
4. Holding On
Holding on to your dead lover and
Holding on to your dead dreams and
Holding on to your dead ideas
Holding on, holding on
When to give up?
When to give in?
When to wave white flags of surrender?
When to shut up and stop talkin’ tough?
When to relinquish the role of pretender?
Still holding on to your dead country and
Holding on your dead rules and
Holding on to your dead Gods and
Holding on, holding on
5. Anyone
We sat in a hole, we sat on a hill
Traded our gold for a 2-minute thrill
We have to get home, have to regroup
‘cause anything can happen
You must have been anyone you happened to be
I should have been everyone around me but me
We need to be anyone we happen to find
So make sure we get out of our minds
Monday morning quarterbacks
Know all the right things to ask
Other take it to the streets
And still we’re incomplete
We sat in a chair, sat in the air
Sat at a sit-in and pretended to care
We have to get home, we have to regroup
‘cause nothing ever happens
6. Scotch Whiskey
This is a story ’bout Scotch Whiskey
Well, the first time I drank it, I was so manly
that my wife got very frisky and she had to take advantage of me
This is a story ’bout Scotch Whiskey
Well, the second time I drank it, it was more of the same
I was eloquent, holding court, top of my game, baby
This is a story ’bout Scotch Whiskey
Well, the third time I drank it, I was charmed no more
I got so wasted that I put my head right through a wooden door
It’s all my fault for drinking single malt
It’s very clear I shouldn’t cheat on beer
Whiskey, what’d I do? You were so sweet when I first met you
Things were going fine, then you did me wrong
Now I’m back here with my beer where I belong
7. Bettie
I saw you standing there on some T-shirt design
There was a hairbrush raised above your sweet behind
And in the days that followed I learned a whole lot more
And I became depressed ‘cause time had closed the door
Hey girl, I wanna be with you
And I know that it’s impossible
Unless I build myself a time machine
And we’ll meet in some New York hotel
I will kneel in worship
Overload my senses
While you beat me senseless
I love your jet-black bangs, I love your pouty lips
I love the luscious ass that lives between your hips
And if I had an hour with just my nose and mouth
I’d appetize up north and have dessert down south
8. Dead Love Letters
She sent me dead love letters
Hoping I’d be feeling better
So hard to be above you
Have to tell you I don’t love you
I’m sorry that I hurt you
Rip your heart out and desert you
I hope you can forgive me
And stop your living for me
On Monday afternoon
I’ll take your letters out
And then I’ll start a fire
Won’t put it out ‘til I pour my heart out
We were all alone
Watched the sun go down
We were almost grown
Strangers in this town
We were blown away
Watched the sky turn gray
I watch the burning of my dead love letters
The smoke is rising from my dead love letters
I stir the ashes of my dead love letters
The sky is heavy with my dead love letters
Love rest in peace
Watch the sun go down
9. Gasoline
I wanna be a tiger in the next race’s tank
Keepin’ them hummin’ along
I want my cost to rise and fall and ebb and soar
‘Cause of some ancient holy war
What did T-Rex do to meet such a fate?
He and his colleagues of yesteryear
I look around at the mess we all create
Seems like extinction is near
So Hail to the Chief
We need some sweet relief
Let’s shake the Etch-a-Sketch clean
And I’ll be proud to serve bein’ just what I deserve
Some future asshole’s gasoline
10. Down and Outlook
Someone shoot heroin into my brain
Someone shoot heroin into my mind
It’s the only junk that I have not yet tried
And there’s something missing in my life
There’s something missing in my life
And I think I know why
Cuts through my reason like a dull butter knife
Naturally, it has to another way to get high
11. The Freeze
Author, author, I must protest; this production is quite a mess
Here’s a recipe for world peace; really hip and it’s called The Freeze
The moment that I attempt to kill, I freeze solid, my time stands still
It’s impossible to do harm; try The Freeze it works like a charm
And everything will be all right
I’ve got free will, but it’s for nil ‘cause I can’t do anything I please
Yes, I can rape, yeah, I can kill, but I can’t lay hands and cure disease
No, I can’t fly, but I can make you die; author, give The Freeze a try
You’re frozen ‘cause you’ve chosen to try and harm your brother
In 1 year you’ll be free and realize that you can’t hurt another
Go ahead and try; keep freezing ‘til the day you die
If we stay on our current track, drop the curtain and fade to black
Author, author, what do you say? Take your pencil and change your play
And everything will be all right
12. All Holed Up
She’s all holed up in California
She needs rising up
And I just thought that I’d better warn you
It’s not what it seems
Girl, Jersey’s where you ought to be
She made the move out where it’s warmer
Now she spends her days
In a slow crawl toward luke-warm pre-mortem
It’s not what it seems
Girl, Jersey’s where you ought to be
She’s all holed up, needs rising up
13. Burnt Out
Well he pulls into the station and he’s gunnin’ for his Maker ‘cause he’s burnt out
Another day another dollar, you can hear the dollar holler ‘cause he’s burnt out
He used to be so young
But now he’s not
He’s tied in knots
He ain’t got nothin’ but the stuff he’s got
Well his wife is in absentia as she slips into dementia ‘cause she’s burnt out
She gets home at 9:30 with her heart and soul all dirty ‘cause she’s burnt out
She used to be so free
But now she’s not
She’s tied in knots
She ain’t got nothin’ but the stuff she’s got
14. Straight
I took a walk around my town
Just to see what I could see
It was all turned upside down
Must have happened while I was asleep
Criminals were heroes
Common sense was not that common
Pride had been turned into guilt and self-loathing as we waited around for the bombs
Watch as we all commit suicide
Watch as the greatness burns to the ground
Won’t you be sad when your freedom’s gone?
I know it’s hard to hear me with the TV on
As we sift through the ashes
And ask ourselves “how could this have happened?”
The question, of course, comes much too late
For the nation that wasn’t thinking straight
Think straight
15. Last Time Around
Oh what a lovely day just to sleep
But I’ll get up and see what’s to eat
Check out the paper and the TV, then catch some Zs
The phone rings; one of my kids
Telling me all ‘bout what their kids did
Got the school picture, thanks very much; hey, keep in touch
And now the days all blend into one, and it hurts too much to have fun
It’s hard to stay awake on the road, and my knees can’t take the load
Oh, well the Gold Wing’s under a tarp, while they fit my hands for a harp
It’s come down to dreams or TV, but baby that’s alright with me
I’m on my last time around
I can’t control the day, I can’t control the night
I can’t control the dark, I can’t control the light
I can’t control my brain, I can’t control my mind
Now the neighbors knock on my door
‘Cause they don’t hear me snoring
16. Good
I never knew you’d be the one who would save me
From everything in life that tries to enslave me
Everything is so good since you’ve been in my life
And when I’m down and out and losing my mind
You’re always on the shore to throw me a lifeline
Everything is so good since you’ve been in my life
Everything’s so good
Everything is so good since you’ve been in my life
You are so beautiful, you made me beautiful
You are so nice and kind, you made me nice and kind
You are so very wise, you opened up my eyes
17. Love’s Bigger Than You
You can talk real proud but you better watch out
You can act real brave but you better behave
You can think you’re a king but you don’t know a thing
You can think you’re on top but get ready to drop to your knees
When love storms the room, what’ll you do? We’ll fall in love, now
When love kicks your butt, what’ll you do? We’ll fall in love, now
When love knocks you out, what’ll you do? We’ll fall in love, now
‘Cause love’s bigger than you
18. Grand Attempt
My friend
I wish you happiness and then
I wish you happiness again
You’ve made me happy without end
My love
You stand so proudly at my side
When you should rightly run and hide
You’ve made me deeper deep inside
You are the beauty in my life
My baby’s mother and my wife
You are no ordinary soul
My love
Cannot be crammed into a rhyme
But nonetheless I have to try
So please forgive this grand attempt
19. Done To Me
God, what have you done to me?
Clear blue sky, nice warm sun
Gonna be the same tomorrow
Tryin’ hard to have my fun
While others sink deep down in sorrow
People say that life is hard
So far I’m dancin’ through it
Different folks draw different cards
Tryin’ not to misconstrue it
20. Goodbye
Well, if the sun should ever tumble from the sky
Who would I run to? Who would I lean on?
I might have to say goodbye
Who would I run to? Who would I lean on?
Goodbye
And if the stars should ever tumble from your eyes
Who would I run to? Who would I lean on?
I might have to say goodbye
Who would I run to? Who would I lean on?
Goodbye
2011 Jim Wood